Category: Let's talk
are any of you a victim?
if so how did you deal with it
I have been one for many, many years. People abused me sexually or just bullied me - so long. That#s why I am so surprised that I am so popular here.
of corse your popular *hugs*
Only briefly but that is because of what I did. Firstly let me say that those who go crying like babies to members of staff like teachers pets, or behave like do gooders, get exactly what they deserve from the bullies usually. The best way to defeat the bullies is by being better than them. By standing up for yourself, defending yourself to the absolute best of your ability, and dealing with them yourself, you show that you're stronger than them. You're only as strong as you allow yourself to be. This means that if you're determined to be stronger you will become stronger. Eventually, the bully sees that they can't defeat you so they give up especially if your retalliation is more severe than their provokation and I'd encourage it to be. If you do things which cause you to be bullied, it's also in part your fault. For example, if your a b it weird and people see this they'll make you regret it or at least attempt to.
I was a victim of bullying for 6 months, along with several close friends, who were constantly abused for standing by me. Eventually I snapped and fought the ringleader, who turned out to be a coward.Christ knows how I got away with only minor injuries, because he could have easily hammered me...I honestly think the eejit couldn't get over my audacity, he had expected me to runaway however that's never been my style...
WW that first statement is ignorant self righteous crap!..You know fine well, that not everyone has the confidence to swagger up to a bully and knock them flat.. show me a teenager who isn't suffering from low self esteem self hatred and fear of being bullied and I'll show you a bloody good liar!...you are a gobshite of the highest order...
Thanks Stargate. And, well, you know, Wayne, I tried to deffend myself. But could you do that if you are a girl and three, four people bullied you? Are you so sure of that? At the end, I still was crying and went to the teachers. Why? Because I could not deffend myself against four people who threatened me.
good girl ines.
If it was only one person bullying you ... well, then you could deffend yourself with words, but, what if you are so scared that you can not say anything?
then you're stuck!
very stuck!
Exactly. And now imagine the teachers don'T believe you, like it was the case with me.
I'd only report to teacher if it were physical/sexual assault. Otherwise, I'd just ignore them and find other friends. Also, administration is better, but sometimes it depends on the school. You have to present it in such a way that they're scared not to do something. Also keep in mind you could run into the bully outside of school, and tattling in that case would never work.
Ines, I had the same experience, but what is diferent is that mine was all the way through elementary school and some of 6th grade, I had some close friends, but at the end they turned their backs around... hmm and I told my parents and many other people which did not believe me, and I was getting sooo sick of all this! the whole grade against you?... well, I think it helps you mature a little... I have a friend at school which also use to be bullyed just because he was blind, but well it was not for as long as I had it, but still, he is nice and well he is very respectful...
hmm, I wonder why I always end up every single conversation...? lol
You wait until one of the bullies, preferably the ring leader is alone before retalliating against them. Noone is surrounded by people all of the time. If you're able to make an example out of them, the others will leave you alone. As for self-esteam, well it comes from within so if it is low in a person they have to build it up themselves. Noone else can do it for them. Going to the teacher only stimulates the hostility of the bullies against you. Noone likes people who go to the teachers. It's a sign of weakness and as the bullies are looking for those, by going to the teacher you build up their confidence. They don't give a shit about a telling off or detention.
Wayne I tried that, but, I was just too scared, and he was hardly ever alone. They bullied me for ... seven or eight years.
don't be scared.
i've been through it so i know what it's like
aww... lol
Well it got better when I went to another school, but still there were people who bully me.